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An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters, "I don't like Chinese." The First Officer...

A horse is in a pub having a few beers when he spots a donkey in the corner so he goes over for a chat.   The donkey asks “What do you do for a living?”   The horse says “I run on the flats in the summer and do the jumps in the winter.”   And the donkey says “I work with the kids...

 Marriage and Marijuana: In Canada, our government, in its eternal wisdom, recently passed two laws.  They...

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. the stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.   Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have...

The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile...

 A left wing Politician, a TV Reporter and a British soldier were captured by ISIS. They were as usual sentenced to death by beheading. Unexpectedly, the ISIS leader said they could have one last wish each before sentence was carried out. The Politician asked to hear a rendering of keep the...

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn't find a super athlete who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while...

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward...

Dead Penguins - I never knew this! Where do they go?   Wonder no more!!!!!!!  It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life,as well as maintain a form...

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in anursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem ofher nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up toan elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a momentor two and finally...

  An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.   When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: "Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my...

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically' The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad...

The other day my neighbour, who is blonde, came running up  to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy. I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said,  “ I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell...

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year  old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing."The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues,"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell  and you say...