Signs

[shortlegs]

[SIZE=10pt]Golf Club Sign[/SIZE]​

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[SIZE=10pt]Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:[/SIZE]​

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[SIZE=10pt]1. BACK STRAIGHT, [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]2 KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]7 IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU [/SIZE]​

[SIZE=10pt]8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF[/SIZE]​

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[SIZE=10pt]++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++[/SIZE]​

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[SIZE=11pt]Did I read that sign right?[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]In an office:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]In a Laundromat:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]In a London department store:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]In an office[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]In an office:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]Outside a second-hand shop[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]Notice in health food shop window[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]Spotted in a safari park[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]Seen during a conference[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]  FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR[/SIZE]​

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[SIZE=11pt]Notice in a farmer's field:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=11pt]On a repair shop door[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]:[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).[/SIZE]​